Hello ! It is time for another episode of : Mars Lends a Hand!
Todays story is titled : "Feeling Invisible: Struggling with Love and Self-Worth as a Freshman"
the post :" I have always thought that I would find someone I would love very much then marry her. Sorry if it is cringe but it was my dream for a long time. I did not have a great high school life. I loved a girl very much for a long time. She, of course, rejected me. I was less smart and knowledgeable at this kind of things at that time. I was stupid to think that there could have been a little chance of she liking me. I am not a tall or good-looking person. I would not say I look very bad but at least girls think so. I am 5'10'', which is short in these days. But I actually do not care my height that much, I am okay with it. Now, I am studying mechanical engineering (freshman) one of the best (if not the best) universities in my country. As I said before, I have always dreamed of finding someone that we will have mutual respect and love for each other. But I have come to the realization that cute girls do not even want to be around you if you are not good-looking. You are just a ghost to them. They do not even wonder anything about you. They just have to deal with you if it is mandatory sometimes, otherwise you are nobody, even if you have a potentially good career in the future or something like that. As you can guess, this has shattered my only stable living purpose, love. I sometimes encounter posts about incels on X (twitter). I am definitely not an incel, but you should know that they even make me more depressed. I also encounter a lot of alone people who have been rejected and ignored for their all life. I read experiences of people who they call themselves "ugly" on reddit, which is terrifying if I have to name it with a single word. Other than al of these, I do not even want to talk about seeing couples on the campus, which is very disheartening. Please do not say "you will eventually find someone". Yes, probably someone that I do not like. I also encounter a few cute girls sometimes who will not care about me anyway, but it does make me sad knowing I can not reach them which makes me want to be even sad. Sorry If I acted selfish. I just do not know what to do. I have no one to get help."
Blah blah blah. I have personally fallen victim to dating a man who's whole personality was not being good enough. Not smart enough, not good looking enough, not rich enough. At first i felt for it, awh you poor guy! But then it became insane, got to the point where he'd accuse me of constantly wanting something else because he was "too ugly" for me. I could not be with him, he hated himself too much. It was so annoying to have to enjoy him enough for the both of us because truthfully, i did not like him that much on MY end. However, I did not dislike him for any of the reasons he thought. I disliked him for but because he was mean, showed no interests in my interests, and was just one of those guys who says mean back handed comments and pretends it's affection.
I am not going to say that this guy from this story is exactly the same as the guy I dated BUT it feels similar so I feel like I can be the one to speak on it.
Dear redditor - There were a few comments made in this post that allow me to believe that your looks, your height, or your future career really plays absolutely no factor into why women do not want you. - i blame it entirely on your personality. Something about the fact that you THINK it is entirely about girls and their ideas of what looks good solidifies it even more.
I can not speak for all women here, but I can speak for a lot when I say - Your looks do not matter, if you have a great personality. I really really do believe this is true, I mean Selena Gomez is engaged to Benny Blanco. Certainly not for his looks. So it is possible. When I say personality, I mean you, how you treat those around you, if you are kind, or caring, what your morals are, whats important to you. If that stuff truly aligns with the girl you are pursuing, I believe that your looks will be backseat in her decision to date you.
Which leads me to believe your personality, how you act around women, especially women you want to pursue romantically HAS to be a little strange! I mean come on, the entire post is just so pick me vibes. "Wahhh I'm short, like 5'10 short (which we know isnt short so this was just to tell us you're tall) and umph i go to one of the best schools in the country uh no what will i do?" Look you have all the tools to succeed. It is you who is the problem!
I am fine with you feeling sad that women don't want you. It is sad! we all want love at some point in our lives, you are only human BUT women are not the reason you are not succeeding in this field, i promise. You will find someone someday who is not completely weirded out by this whole pick me vibe and you'll be just fine. I am saddened that you already think she won't be someone you'll like. You are sounding an awful lot like the women you're upset at. Worried she won't appeal to you, guess someone liking you won't guarantee you like them. FAMILIAR FEELING ISN'T IT?
Good luck to you... pray you experience some growth sooner, you might even become likable...
see ya! ◡̈
